Mixed Emotions

Today my heart broke into a thousand pieces. When Mike picked Evelyn up from her dayhome she said 'bye Mommy Tara'. I keep trying to convince myself that this is a good thing, that it means Evelyn is happy at her dayhome but I can't help but feel a slight bit jealous. I don't want Evelyn to love someone as much as she loves me! She is supposed to be my baby and me her Mommy. No one else is supposed to have the name Mommy except for me. Ok, I know I am being a touch irrational but this whole decision to go back to work has been a tough one for me. I always thought that I was meant to be a Mom, to stay home and raise beautiful children, keep a nice house and cook fabulous meals. When I started working part time last fall I realized that I actually like being out of the house a bit. As time went on I realized that I really like being out of the house and that maybe it would be a good thing to work full time. In the back of my mind though I thought Evelyn would hate being in a dayhome and I would have to drop down to part time again for her sake. Now she is loving the dayhome and I am happily, well, most days happily, working. I am thankful that Evelyn is happy but I think I am transitioning into this whole dayhome thing as much as she is...and in my heart of hearts I know she loves me the most ;)

As a funny little side story. While I was complaining to my Mom about this whole situation my Mom shared with me that I called her and my Dad by their first names for years all the while calling my grandparents Mom and Dad.